It's Been A While

Oct 28 2009 - the date of my last post.

I've not written anything here for so long. I didn't realise. It's not that I've forgotten the existence of this blog, but I've just been tied down by so many things in my life that I haven't had the time to write anything.

It's been about 5 months or so. BC41 and BC42 came and went, I did enjoy BC42 alot, but I don't think I have time to write a proper review, though I can say that Warrior Dance is my favourite from that release. =)

Life, has been full of challenges. I do think that I'm juggling too many things at the same time. But I also understand that we can't ask for too much and have everything in our life that goes smoothly. The one aspect of my life that I'm quite sure isn't smooth, I've shelved that indefinitely. See what happens 20 or 30 years later. Mentally prepared for the worst already.

Work - In my last entry, I would probably refer to just one thing, but now there's something else. The original aspect has met a speed bump now, what has been a rosy 2009 has proved to be insurmountable in 2010. It's causing alot of stress, low morale, dampened spirits. I've had mandatory stay-backs till 9pm for 3 work nights/week. It's wearing everyone down. Including me. I've had to miss a couple of my Mon night classes due to this mandatory requirement. There was once when I left early and was hit with a hefty monetary fine. Didn't know fines existed at work right? Now you do.

The second aspect of my work I would really like to be more involved, but the schedule really doesn't permit my involvement on a regular basis. Luckily there's someone to help, someone I trust with all my heart.

Travel - My travel plans have all gone down the drain. Life at work has become so stifling and restrictive that we are not even allowed to take more than 1 day leave a month and worse of all, not allowed to take any leave in Apr. The casual observer can simply proffer an opinion of referring the matter to HR, but things are more complicated than that.

Thankfully, I just returned from 2 trips in the month of Mar alone. Both pre-booked in Jan prior to all the recent restrictions, so I was given the green light to proceed.

The first - a quarterly workshop to KL. Personally, this was a disaster. I realised I didn't enjoy the city, didn't enjoy the entire experience. It seemed old to me. Lethargic energy, same old faces, same old draggy affair. The entire trip, I just wished I was back home in Singapore.

The second - a trip to BKK with my colleagues. Usually if I go for quarterlies, I like to go BKK to combine it with a break and holiday, but this time round due to the proximity in the dates, I decided on KL instead. But this trip to BKK was one of the best ever. I had alot of fun with my colleagues, I really enjoyed the company and the things we did were really enjoyable. Not to mention, the city just gives me better vibes. I feel more comfortable here.

Along the way, I did harbour plans to go visit Auckland but schedules simply wouldn't allow. I'm really hoping the situation turns for the better and I may be able to take my block leave in November. Keeping my fingers crossed.

I have a feeling that I'm under severe induced stress, but I loathe to admit it.

Ever since the casino opened in Feb, I've been there on 5 occasions already. My luck has been good, thankfully, but I have to conscious I don't make it a habit to go whenever I'm feeling down or stressed.

I also feel super unfit now. Lack of regular exercise because by the time I finish my 12hr plus workshift at 9pm, I'm simply too tired to do anything else. The cycle perpetuates and creates a vicious cycle that I'm desperate to get out of.

And lately I've been spending alot of money on impulse buys. I bought a new notebook, but just 2 days after I bought the new one, the old one crashed completely, I can't even switch it on. How bloody ironic. All my music and videos are in the old laptop, so I really don't know what to do. And I know gathering the old music and videos again take time, and I don't know where to find the time, and here I am still blogging. But I guess I need to let off some steam.

There's also another impulse buy. I bought a Sony Cybershot. My first personal camera for myself, even though I'm not so sure if I really need it. So far, I'm pleased with it cos it's a really good camera and I managed to snap some shots of my most recent BKK trip with my colleagues.

And then there's the impending tax bill. The amount isn't funny, I think I overspent so I don't know where to cough up the money to pay for income tax, especially after my recent 'purchases', in particular the big big one. The way things are at work now, I don't think income generation is going to come too easy.

Sometimes I just feel like escaping from reality. Go away to a country for a while and not do anything for 2 whole weeks. Or maybe even a month. I'm really willing to take no pay leave. Problem is... will it be approved?

I can't believe I wrote so much. I just wrote what I felt and what I thought. Initially, I had planned to write this as a BC43 launch entry, but oh well... writing is therapeutic.

On BC43, I did have a blast doing the launch today, I presented the first 3 tracks and loved all of them. If I do have the time, I'll write a proper track by track review. If not, just let this be my conclusion that BC43 is awesome.