2009

It's been one week since I posted here, and I haven't had the luxury of the time to sit down and write a proper entry. It's mostly work commitments and at night, I spend most of my evening monitoring US stocks till I call it a night. It's highly addictive.

Unfortunately I ended 2008 on a sick note. I was hit by a bug but still persisted in conducting my 2hr class on New Year's Day. I was pleasantly surprised by the turnout and did have a rather enjoyable class despite my illness. I played mainly tracks from the 20s releases, these tracks now start to feel old... Remembered all those moments when we were just launching these releases... the times when I was just starting to gather interest in BC.

2008. What can I say? During the year I suffered several lows, definitely not the all-time low I had in 2006, some call it a quarter-life crisis, but I call it a personal disaster - of wrong choices and wrong decisions. Life became a living hell. It was also the year which I made the transition to become an instructor. Frankly speaking, the transition changed my life and gave me focus. It was something to look forward to amidst all the dread. I needed something to direct my attention and energy to compensate all that I have lost.

Being in the financial industry is kinda like the worst place to be in right now. Frankly speaking, I have no idea at all if my job is even safe. Many of my colleagues and industry peers have the same worry. Somehow, I don't know whether it's a blessing in disguise. I got out of my living hell, I changed jobs and I kinda like my working environment now, even though I have compromised on my number of classes.

Going into 2009, I'm not sure what fate has in store for me. Someone calls me 'Mr Negative'. I don't disagree, though I think my colleagues will probably think otherwise. I think I've used up all my positivity at work (and during classes) so there's nothing left outside work.

Just had a discussion for 2009. Targets were set and numbers established. Here comes another round of madness. In pursuit of what? Happiness via monetary rewards? Or happiness just knowing you're still having a job?

But the truth is, I haven't been happy in a long long time. Fortunately there's always that one hour that allows me to go crazy.